Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Vilox's LiveJournal:

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Monday, September 26th, 2005
9:49 am	What I've done in the past forever. I am bored enough and lack motivation to do actually pressing tasks to write in this! I was surprised the account still exists. Umm, let's see. I wait tables at cracker Barrel. It's soul draining but ok money. Instead of actually going back to school in the states, I learned spanish and went to Puebla, Mexico to live a while last year. It was a very wonderful experience, actually. My host family and teachers spoke no english, which accelerated the process. I met some wonderful people and truly consider my family there...family hehe. I fell in love with this amazing girl. Her tourist visa expired and she is back in Chihuahua finishing her computer certification. I'm taking a 1 way ticket to El Paso and will take a bus from there to Chihuahua in November. I'm not sure how long I will be there, but I'm fairly confident I will have an amazing time. Right now, I'm living in an apartment in Clive with 3 cool mexican dudes and my brother sleeps on the couch. This is the most emotionless relaying of wonderful happenings in my life I can muster hehehe, I hope you all are proud.... if any of you still exist? I plan to write in further detail the happenings of my life in the past 2 years sometime soon. Tengo que pensar mas hehe. k bauaeyeyee! (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 10th, 2003
11:31 pm	Spell checking takes away from the artistic content. It has been a better part of a week since Heather called me, had me meet her in a parking lot, told me out of the blue that we just weren't right for each other and that she was no longer going to try in this, then not so smoothly slid in that she had started seeing one of our friends who she has been friends with for years... Hmm, I have had a lot of time to think for what 1 week is. Ok, we were going to move in together. She hated Ames, I was ok with it. We were going to move because she wanted out of that town. I let the lease expire. We were going to live rent free form my parent's basement and look for a place from there. Around a month before our planned move, she told me she didn't want to live there and was going to live with some friends in Des Moines and thought I should live there as well. I said I didn't want to change plans and that if she wanted to live there that was find and that I would come see her everyday there. ARBITRARY PARAGRAPH BREAK A couple weeks before the move she decides she is broke and can manage to live with my parents for a while to look and save money. A few days before the move she shows up and tells me that things are just not good between us at all and we need to take a break and get our respective shit together. I painfully accept this and move stuff and clean the house alone. I move my shit in and begin working. She calls me at work and says she needs to talk to me. I come to Ames. She lays into me. Judges me financially, the friends I spend time with, the porn I look at, my past relationships, the alcohol I drink, tells me my laid back easy going get along with everyone attitide is me being spineless and cannot see me being a protective figure in her life able to give the security she needs (See last LJ post). Ok, I accept these things as friendly advice, a slap in the face if you will. I feel good though. The air is crisper and motivation shines through past the tears in my eyes. I tell her that I agree and plan to better myself. I feel genuinely motivated. She even cries out of happiness. I feel a genuine loving connection. The kind we feel all the time. She tells me she still loves me. Is still in love with me, wants to make love to me then, wishes me well then leaves. I feel euphoric and well. I stop indulging in pleasures that have negative effects and feel a better person for it... especially knowing I am better in her eyes. 6 days later . I think I even said "Please tell me what you are telling me now is a lie. Because if it isn't, then that means everything you have told me in the last year was a lie." But yea, I was a little rude at times during the talk. In the end, I wished her happiness in life and that I would always love her. I told her I felt used and settled for. If this guy would have professed his undying crush for her years ago instead of dating bar skanks maybe I would have never been dragged into a deep loving commitment. He is definitely more attractive than me. He is a drummer in a band. He is a nice guy. I told her I lost a lot of respect for her for what she did to me. Ultimitely, I am just mad at myself for letting this happen again. That familiar pain in your stomach that doesn't allow you to keep food down or even function properly in day to day activities. The burning need to explode out of your human shell that is physically expressed by hitting things and crying while trying to speak making the most pathetic sound to ever come out of a human being's mouth. The thoughts of turning your car into that drop off by the bridge, the re occuring images of the gun to your head that had died down since high school. The painful feeling of insecurity mixed with the physical longing for her beautiful body. Having to remember her body as it is and was. The details that drove you wild now drive you insane. The incompleted tattoo on her stomach that is just a foot. The unique shape of her nipples. The smell of her neck and shoulders. The rate at which her hair grew on her legs. How tan lines were so unattractive on every girl but her. How divine her figure looked naked in the moonlight as you approached it to embrace it with yours. How her neurotic tangents would get so hard to follow that you would lose yourself in her train of though, but eventually emerge totally blissful just watching the way her face moved as she relayed her stories. God, there are so many things, but I am anti long posts. People skip over them. I know very well that people have problems. I feel very typical writing this down now without and clever new twist on the old waaah waaaah she broke my heart post. This is catharsis. I rarely respond to other people on my friends list posts. I guess it doesn't mean that I don't read them. It just comforts me that someone can read my ramblings and maybe relate with it. I am drunk so I really am rambling. Probably not very eloquently either. So sorry to everyone out there that I abandoned for a good year from being caught up in illusionary happiness. I love people! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 13th, 2003
6:36 pm	 alt-127 Me and Heather just got back form Kansas. It was fun. Her friends there seem very nice and easy going. We brought back with us a red tail boa constrictor. He is r0x! He's about 5 feet long. He spends most of his free time idle, but sometimes he stabs! He ate a rat yesterday but alas, I just missed the consumption (not tuberculosis). I will post pics once I get the ambition up to do so. Me and Heather are engaged to be married, but I think I might have mentioned that once already. I tripped on mushrooms my 3rd and 4th time in Kansas and it never fails to be a wonderful experience. We are moving to Des Moines in a couple weeks and I can not wait to leave Ames. I got fired from BK for refusing to take out my septum ring... HA! I like sex a lot. David Cross is a wonderful comedian. I still need to sell my EQ account. I have 7 of my 9 TaeKwonDo forms rememorized. I cannot wait to go back. Good--bye alt-127 (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 10th, 2002
2:07 pm	SHUT UP! You have to imagine it being said in loud monotone to someone asking you a simple and polite question for it to be totally funny. My life is good. I am poor, have no degree, work a shit job, but I have love. That's right, the big L word! Gratz me. I have something now that makes what I have had before with people seem like just some make believe relationship made up by a child. Like nothing has really had much relative substance until now. But umm, maybe that is because I am finally grown enough to realize that I behaved as a small child would in my previous relationships. But anyways, I think I am, at 22, experiencing my first truly deep relationship ever. I dated Nikki almost 5 years, but we were both greedy, posessive, jealous, angry, and spiteful people for a large portion of it. At least I can look back on the person I was now and not be able to recognize or empathize with that person. I was discussing something with someone. We talk about traveling a lot. She has a strong desire to see more of the world. When I think about it, I am pretty content with where I am geographically. I overheard a guy at a party last night talking about how his band was one of the creative pinnacles of this small town, but it was not a good atmosphere for his band to grow creatively. That comment kind of reminded me of the movie Orange County, where the kid finds all the inspiration he ever needed to write was right in front of his face all along.... So anyways, I kind of got off track. I haven't traveled a lot. I have been to about every state in the US and almost every province in Canada in my 22 years (23 tomorrow, woot), but I can pretty confidently say that I would not be any happier living anywhere else. I know this is a pretty big generalization, but I think everyone everywhere I would go to live would be pretty much the same as here. Here, however, I have a wonderful friend base, my family is close, and all I could ever need is at least within an hours reach. She is discontent with her surroundings here, but I wonder if she will move somewhere and find herself facing the same discontentment there. Like perhaps it is an internal issue making her unhappy with where she is instead of some external thing. I dunno really. This conversation started me thinking about myself more. I don't really know myself that well. I know most other people well. You can somewhat classify other people based on personality traits or opinions that stick out in them. As far as my personality traits go, I know that I am not a very serious person, but this fact does not help me to know myself better. It just proves that I don't know the serious person that lies underneath, if indeed there is any. I guess I am being serious now, but does that really help define me either? I have realized I don't have many opinions. I have problems with organized religion, but that does not mean that what they do and believe is wrong. I don't know what is right, or pretend to have any ideal opinion on theology that is true. I don't have many opinions on politics. When I hear my friends arguing about politics, I just tune them out or think they come off as ignorant and opinionated. Maybe I am just too self centered to care enough about the rest of the world or things that do not effect me directly, but how can I be self centered when I don't really know much about myself. The only real faith I have in life is that of love. That is, that I will (or have :) ) find that ultimite intimate love to share with 1 other as my foundation and everything I could ever want will fall into place from the existance of that bond. Maybe this lack of desire to travel and belief that love conquers all makes me come off as simple-minded and naive, but I have been other places and I have had love fail many times before, so I don't think I can be called naive. Anyways, I realized I haven't written in my journal for a long ass time and decided I should maybe put these thoughts I had on my mind this morning to text. I have wanted to write a lot lately, but have not been anywhere near a computer before the moment passed. Ahh well. How is everyone else out there in internet land doing? (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 20th, 2002
7:11 am	NEXT POST! I have not posted in a while. I think it is because I have been too happy. I seem to be more uninspired to write anything when I am content. Like there is no negative energy to feed off? Things I have done in the last few weeks: 1.) Stalked a former Burger King employee named Ashook... Ring ring. Hello, Ashook? We are sorry for firing you. We need you to come back to work for us, please! 2.) Called most people I know in this city around 4AM saying "Hello, this is Ashook from work. We need you to come in to work right now, we are very understaffed!". 3.) Upped the gauge of my ear holes. 4.) Got my hair cut on Heather's front porch. 5.) Made copies of friends car keys without them knowing. 6.) Wrote "Ashook", "Hax0r", and other such things with spirit foam all over friend's cars. 7.) Wrote "Ashook, Hax0r", and other such things with spirit foam al over my own car. 8.) Blew up my toilet with a firecracker. 9.) Learned how to install a toilet. 10.) Played ninjas with a bunch of little kids and got punched in the balls about 5 times. 11.) Convinced a bunch of little kids my name was Ashook and I was from India and in my country we SHOOT YOU! 12.) Me and Greg cause a manager to scream at and try to choke us with our repetative humor. 13.) Put fishing tackle in Heather's car. 14.) Lost 15 lbs? Random realizations: -------------------------------------------------------- 1.) I like driving around the back roads in my old truck on Sunday mornings. All the farmers and locals wave as I pass like I actually belong there. 2.) Some people actually do take not being serious seriously. 3.) Some people take things seriously that I cannot fathom taking seriously. 4.) Some people cannot understand that I am not a serious person, even if I explain to them exactly the humor I was applying in that situation. 5.) When I drive over train tracks, an uncontrollable chill comes over me as I helplessly invision a train smashing into the side of my vehicle. This happens when I drive past other cars sometimes too. 6.) Usually, trying to be nice when going against your heart makes things worse ultimately. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 21st, 2002
6:32 am	The booty is getting slapped up. Greg comes over, we play Jeapordy on nintendo with Shanna and her guy and eat some taco salad thing. Greg brings: 1.) 1 Jar Jar Binks haloween mask, brand new. 2.) A McDonalds cap. 3.) A cane. I get out my arsenal: 1.) A burger King uniform 2.) A tie. 3.) An anti child abuse pin. This is where Shanna comes in. She puts us in pretty makeup, mascara and lipstick... We are ready to work the overnight at Burger King now. When we get there, I am wearing the Jar Jar Binks mask, my tie, and all that other stuff. People are shocked at my appearence. When I am told to take off the mask, I reveal my pretty makeup. Enters Greg. We make the prettiest pair. The Sudan people at work give me the expected freaked out response. They must have got tired of gawking over the septum ring finally! Work is sucks, but we play games to pass the time in the most unsanitary fashions. There is a HUGE house party tonight. I think we will dress up again. I'm hoping one of Shanna's swimming suits will fit me. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, September 20th, 2002
4:04 pm	Yea, we allz was runnin game up in Sherman Ave, know what I'm sayin, dis muthafuka all be straight frontin. All like "yall smoke herb?" And we all be like, you'z a rat, dawg! I dun know man, I think he was straight messin, on wit da feds or some shit. Den I fin dout da muthafucka be coming straight from the halfway house! What a trip! So I tell the bitch ass nigga they be pullin UA's tomorrow and he be gettin his freak out! I made 2 new comics, but I forget Gwen's thingie. They weren't as funny as some, but I still giggled when I read them over and over at my own cleverness. I met this new guy that is wierder than me in some ways. I'm very happy. We are wearing makeup to work tonight, lipstick, mascra, rouge, everything. Next week, we are going to ride horses to work. Our relationship is perfect because we are both about the same things: Thinking of something pointless and slightly wierd to do then following through with it. I cant wait to put a help wanted sign next to a headstone in the cemetery. I think it would be funny to put sponsors stickers all over a headstone, like the nascar cars have, but that would verge on evil I guess. Let's see, what else... Things are even better and more better with Heather. Absolutely everything is just clicking amazingly perfectly and it is the first time I have ever really felt that. Just amazing... I was arranging my CD's this morning, because I can't sleep and stuff, and realized I have like a billion skinny puppy CD's that I barely listen to. Then I went and stole back my Sheep on drugs, Vampire Rodents, Project pitchfork, and Evils toy CD's from Dave and Ninjaed one of his Mesh CD's. Angels and Agony is pretty mediocre to bad. Icon of Coil kinda sucks too. I haven't bought a CD for like 2 years. I can't imagine being a full time smoker and a CD purchaser at the same time. This is the most mundane update I have ever made. (Comment on this)
Monday, September 16th, 2002
5:11 pm	YES! 96! 520! etc... HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY SUPAR D03P4 H4PPY!@ She is open, honest, interesting, clever, intelligent, caring, non-judgemental, physically attractive, and as insanely amazing as it is, likes me as much as I her!!!! Oh yea, and she lives here, woot!!!!!!@#@%$#%!! <--- Has not been this happy since Nikki. Maybe even more happy and excited. It had been just long enough to where I thought this could not happen any longer and was wondering how to settle. Hopefully I won't have to? Just keep kicking myself in the ass and remembering to be honest and myself and I'll be fine and perfect, right? H 4 P P Y Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: Yes. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 2nd, 2002
1:22 am	I *HEART* Gwen Thanks to Gwen (snuggliepoo) I could post the pics of my new hunk of metal in my nose! You are my goddess! pic1 pic2 How ugly is it? :):):):):):):):) *Big happy love hearts* (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 31st, 2002
12:23 pm	I looked at my intesrests, and was shocked to find no one else has "hammer brothers" listed as one of their interests. I got my septum pierced. I guess I will post a pic once I find a new place to post them. Anyone know any good places? *winks at Gwen* I went home, finally. My father was out of town. I went to eat with my mother. She thought my nose ring was just the coolest thing (of course). We each had a long Island and you could tell they made them with double alcohol. I had not eaten anything previously that day and was on the verge of drunk in a few minutes. We talked about how I never come home anymore and that my father feels he is the reason that I don't come home. this caused me to start crying probably too loudly and to say he shouldn't have to feel like that and I'm sorry, blah blah. It was the 1st time I had been drunk around my mother, very emo. Then there was this waitress girl that was totally completely my type. thin, petite, down to earth, nothing superficial about her. In my drunken state, I explain to my mother why she is my type, which causes my mother to call her over and ask question about me. YES, I KNOW THE WORST WAY TO MEET A WOMAN IS FOR YOUR MOTHER TO INSTIGATE IT. I don't think the septum piercing helped. Well, she seemed nice, but I have no idea if she thought I was a total idiot or not. I guess it does not matter. Yay, Ashanti didn't win any awards on the VMA!!!! I can't tell when I am serious anymore or not. This implies I don't really know myself. I want to know myself. I wonder what I need to accomplish this task. I decided I am not taking any classes this semester. I hope I decide what I am going to do with life in the next few months? Being ugly and wierd sucks. I went home with this girl from the bar the other week and her friend. I be my usual feminine, singing along with the radio aww that's so cute thing i do and now she thinks she is in love with me. the other girl just thought I was wierd, heh. It was the other girl I was interested in, the other one was a wonderful friend. WHY'd YOU HAVE TO GO AND MAKE THINGS SO COMPLICATED?! Avril Lavigne? 17 years old, beautiful, making songs about people being fake to impress others, has obviously never looked in the mirror! I think, perhaps, that people that do things to intentionally be rebellious, wear clothing just to go against the norm, are perhaps worse conformists than people who do dress preppy? I wonder why I got my septum pierced then. Aren't I supposed to be above all that shit? I just thought I would like the look, but moreso, I wanted to see the look others would give me. I just didn't want to be in the background anymore. I hope that is good enough of a justification. this entry is on the verge of being too long for people to bother to read. Bye for dayys!!!! (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 26th, 2002
2:00 am	Important update! My neck, my back, my neck, my back, my neck, my back, my neck, my back I forget her name, but the album is titled "Thug Misses". In the video, she looks very bored and just sits there and says the same lame 1 liner, something about her neck and back like she is sexy. I think her teeth are fucked up too. I think the name of the album is ripped off of Pink'[s "missundastood" or some shit. Oh, it is the self proclaimed women's anthem of the year too. Glad to know women care about their necks and backs. Pink, btw, gave up her spiritually driven hip hop roots to try a little edgy underground punk shit! It is very emotional, and we are taken on a wild ride through Pink's terrible middle class upbringing and forced to feel deeply sorry for her third world emotional starvation. These are THE BEST CD's I've ever purchased 3 copies of! Oh, and the Thug misses chick ripped the idea of the song off some other rapper. Brilliant! Ashanti?! Her body is physically attractive! I therefore associate that directly with her musical telent and ignore that she is just whispering in a high pitched raspy voice. Oh, and i think she rips off other older rappers too? I have had nothing to talk about in the last few weeks or whatever, so I refrained from making some journal entry like "Blah, just got off work, it sucks, went to see (random LJ user icon here) and we did boring stuff. Ever had that random insight about that random thing? Oh, and I saw some movie, lol, it was total nostalgia!" I was thinking the other day. I wonder if anyone ever is impressed by the obscurity of the musician you list as your current music. To me, doing this seems similar to someone driving around playing their music excessively loud. Like they are really proud of their musical tastes, which are nearly congruent with everyone else in the world and feel they are impressing everyone they pass by invading their audio senses with muffled music that makes it sound as if their car will fall apart at any second. For the bored of reading, just read this sentence: The biggest run on sentence I have ever typed. Arbitrary declarations: 1.) I miss LMO. 2.) I have not slept in 32 hours. 3.) Go to www.jerkcity.com. 4.) There is an African Death Fly bobbing to the beat of electronaut presently. 5.) Current mood: Cynical 6.) Current music: Controlled Fusion, rarararrrr! (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 29th, 2002
7:26 pm	bIG FIGHT! LittleMikeOneal: hey challenger! IamELEKTRO: GREETINGS, ADVERSARY LittleMikeOneal: Commencing in token negotiations before submerging in mortal combat IamELEKTRO: uSING GERUNDS LittleMikeOneal: using gerunds to describe the fact that we are using gerunds IamELEKTRO: HAH, WRITE THAT DOWN IamELEKTRO: aDD A PARTICIPAL FOR EFFECT? LittleMikeOneal: participle? LittleMikeOneal: in what way? IamELEKTRO: PARTICIPIALLY! LittleMikeOneal: ok, creating comic, bzb IamELEKTRO: HAH, ALRIGHT LittleMikeOneal wants to directly connect. LittleMikeOneal is now directly connected. IamELEKTRO: BRB STORE LittleMikeOneal: nooo, I'm done IamELEKTRO: OHOK IamELEKTRO: LOLOL,i LOVE IT PLZ LittleMikeOneal: thx ma'am IamELEKTRO: BRB LittleMikeOneal: KK IamELEKTRO: iRONY: IamELEKTRO: The word Participially is an adverb LittleMikeOneal: something only the grammar police could love (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 12th, 2002
1:56 am	RAP SONG This was originally a comic idea, but I decided it was too long to make into a comic. --------------------------------- Title of song: [Common overused slang describing a rich lifestyle.] [Beat or melody ripped off from an older rap song or otherwise.] [Declaration of mutual respect for other rappers and the locations they reside in.] [Explaination of the vehicle type and location the rapper drives his vehicle in.] [Description of the body types of the females the rapper observes while driving in this area.] [Explaination of how the size of the rims on the tires of his vehicle and the jewelry adorning his body do attract these females to him.] [Explicit description of past acts of mutual sexual intercourse that the rapper has partaken in with these females.] [Verification that although the rapper was very good at causing these women to achieve orgasm, he has no true intimate love for them or females in general.] [General message of disrespect to any other person who would look down on his lifestyle or the people he is associated with, followed by a description of the ways in which he has murdered people that have previously stated their disrespect to him.] [Random grunts and fragments that are sometimes repetitions of any of the previously stated facts.] [Declaration of mutual respect for other rappers and the locations they reside in.] End song... ---------------------------------- (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 6th, 2002
8:37 pm	TRYING TO BE KOUL LIEK SIOUXXXY AND XERCES7.1 Okay!! We are in the woods. okay. ... Who is you?! You don't feel he hurt like I do. Misery is more than just a tear in the eye. I will shave you! I am c7341c! Who will shave your hole?! White power! BLING BLING! Create your own NES Comic (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 5th, 2002
7:32 am	DON'T FORGET ARMAGEDDON DILDOS! Top 10 favorite albums: 1.) Die Warzau: Engine 2.) VNV nation: Empires 3.) Download: The Eyes of Stanley Pain 4.) Front Line Assembly: Flavour of the Weak 5.) Mesh: In This Place Forever 6.) Beck: Stereopathetic Soul Manure 7.) Skinny Puppy: Back & Forth vol. 2 8.) 29 Died: Sworn 9.) Meat Puppets: Too High to Die. 10.) I can't think of it, so I will just say Le?therstrip: Self Inflicted. Goals: 1.) Low priority: To shoot myself in the head twice with the same gun. 2.) High Priority: To actually do it all for the Nookie. 3.) Smoking broken pencils and beating up kids? Went to Siouxicide City to see Genesis, had a pretty ok time. Got one of those wonderful spiky haircuts she gives me everytime I see her :). She is so very good to me? I was driving back and listening to a_random_pop_station and was listening to the songs and commercials and they all seemed so unbelievable and outrageous. It is very hard to really think the things people say and the way people act in music and videos and advertisements are actually taking their images and words seriously. Like it is all one big inside joke to see who actually gets it. Like, why do those ads for car dealerships have that really bad clangy techno in the background with the loud booming echoing voice that changes all the time? Are the people that made that commercial sitting around afterwards giggling about how ridiculous it sounds? Does everyone else think it is totally obserd or do people actually find it appealing and make them want to buy a car from there? Dude, Nelly doing a song with NSync?! The funny reality is shoved in our faces constantly. Does everyone like that type of music because it is an obserd mockery of something about our culture and society, or do people really like it because they think these people really are what they portray themselves to be? I think I am getting off my point, this is not supposed to be some high school non-conformist rant about pop culture. I like pop culture. It seems like a lot of it is a witty satire to me. But do some people actually take it seriously? Sometimes, when I find myself seriously liking a song that someone writes, I find me catching myself and feeling like maybe I have been fooled and I am a sappy idiot. Is that just some form of minor paranoia or something? Maybe I just get too stuck in the mindset that humor is all that matters. I find myself constantly breaking intimite moments with females to crack some kind of clever little stupid joke about the situation. In my mind, I am doing this as an escape, seeing them, perhaps, doing it before me and making a fool of me for acting genuine when that was not the proper thing to do. I rambled! Summary: fashion, cultures, and societical norms have always confused me to hell. I get lost in the intricacies of it. Like all these emo kids or indie kids or whatever kind of style I see popping up nowadays (yea yea, it's not new, I am just slow, etc..). My initial response to their clothing and images is: Ok, I get it. This is some form of retro active, mockery of conformity, preppy clothes, pop, etc... But then I start thinking, maybe they are wearing that stuff to poke fun at someone who would try to dress in some kind of retro active, mockery of conformity, preppy clothes, etc.., and god forbid they are mocking someone who would be mocking someone who is doing the previously stated! I don't know what level to connect with so many people on, so I usually just say wierd things at oppurtinistic times to come off as mysteriously abstractly clever blah blah. But really, I dont understand most people. ShHHHH!!! I didn't mean to write a long post, oops. I know a lot of people probably skip them because they are long. I remember when I was I think 14 I almost literally drove myself crazy thinking about what I was just talking about in the last 2 paragraphs though. Maybe I just need to "fucking" learn how to be myself and stop thinking about other people? What do YOU think?! (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 21st, 2002
9:45 am	Rumors: 1.) Will Oneal has the shittiest vehicle in his apartment complex's parking lot. 2.) David Bowie does not believe in aliens. 3.) Gelton Onealox is a direct descendent of Eugene O'neill. 4.) Flava Flav is a classically trained painist. 5.) Dallian Onealox did not know what a vagina was in 6th grade. 6.) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7.) Beck got much of his lyrical inspiration from Chuck D. 8.) Claus Larsen is not homosexual, jsut too unattractive to get any woman to marry him. 9.) Playing acoustic guitar at a party makes people think of you as very deep and inspirational. Bleh, it was a good idea, but I'm not in the mood to make these funny. I'm very happy I found "A crack up at the Race Riots". Me and LMO had to czech at 3 different bookstores, but we finally found it. I've read it through about 3 times since I got it 2 days ago. It is sooo rocks! I was thinking of another public service anouncement, but I didn't write it out before, so it will probably be full of holes.. here goes. MOST PEOPLE ARE NORMAL. There are, as far as I could think of when I was sleeping last night, 3 levels of normalcy (or is it normality? I will pry use both words). 1st lvl. typical) A person that conforms to what they view as generally socailly acceptable. This could be specifically socially acceptable as well, such as dressing a certain way to fit in to a peer group or acting a certain way to fit in with their current surroundings. 1st lvl individual) A person who by their actions fits in in a gererally socailly acceptable way, but not in any intentional manner. A person who does what makes them happy, but finds that doing what makes them happy does not involve being viewed as outrageous or uncomfortably conforming. 2nd lvl) A person that fears being viewed as "normal" by people they encounter or interact with and act in outrageous manners to avoid this judgement by their peers and/or society in general. This type will often seek out obscure types of music or other art and develop obsessions with them when in any other circumstances it would have no appeal to them. This type will often force themselves to believe they are insane or somehow societically abnormal and take refuge if not pleasure in this self projected image. This type of normal person seems much more present, to me, than type 1, though that could be an age or location issue. 2nd lvl individual) A person who by their actions does not fit in in a gererally socailly acceptable way, but not in any intentional manner. A person who does what makes them happy, but finds that doing what makes them truly happy does often involve being viewed as outrageous. 3rd lvl typical) A person who sees idiocy in 2nd level normal people and strives towards a somewhat 1st level projection, while still maintaining their sense of individuality and true happiness. I'm not saying any of these definitions are necessarily bad, and I'm sure they aren't general enough to fit every person in them, but I think most people fit into one of them generally. Whoa, did I just contradict myself? keekee. I don't think I have a very good definition of 3rd lvl, something is missing in it, but I can't think of it. I think there is some implied recursion in it, but the third level type comes out of it more open minded? I don't know. My basic thesis here is WE ARE NORMAL and all people that so violently fight that fact I want to realize it's not an insult to be called normal. To me personally, happiness is so closely related to being accepted, liked, and I guess respected and especially loved by other people. It's really late for me, and I am losing my ability to write and flow well, so I will just end this post as badly written as it is. I love you all, friends? Current Mood: sore Current Music: Lights of Euphoria - Shadowland (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 13th, 2002
3:21 am	LMO HAS CAME! Out of the closet? These were all done exclusively by LMO, tell me what you think of them and I promise some heart felt type post tomorrow! killing meaning meaning2 TRANSFORM~! (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 3rd, 2002
4:40 am	I met this guy. he is soo awesome, I've spent the last few days with him. I love him soo much! Here is a pic: Hmm, what else news. LMO drew up a comic we had discussed making earlier and never got around to it, here TIS: New hobby: not sleeping. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 31st, 2002
11:50 pm	I WISH I COULD CARE THAT NO ONE READS THESE OR THINKS THEY ARE FUNNY But I can't :( PORQUE?! suicide newcomic College generic MAIN LIST (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 24th, 2002
9:04 am	Sleep still evades me. I had a good comic idea in my tired semi delusional head that I felt like posting. I think it's one of the best ones yet :):):)] Doctor MAIN LIST (Comment on this)